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| my 24 hr and 28hr race timings for the Centurion Autumn 100 |
Imagine if you will a scene of total running indignity ……….
It was 9am on a beautiful October Sunday morning . I was shuffling in agony along the Thames path in Reading getting some very strange looks from the people enjoying a stroll. I was dressed like a runner, with walking poles like an arctic explorer and a 285 race number on my leg….and I was covered in porridge.
I also smelt really bad.
I had porridge in my beard, on my legs , on my shoes , on my jacket and all over my hands. I was using a stupidly small spoon to try and eat porridge from a packet on the move….and it was not going well. As I wiped porridge from my eyebrows I laughed …because only 36 hours earlier I had been fine dining at a Michelin Star restaurant with Sir Ranulph Fiennes and now I was a lycra hobo.
I was 12.5 miles from finishing a non stop 100 mile cross country race called the Centurion Autumn 100 and I didn’t care about anything other than getting to the next checkpoint in time.
But let me take you back to the start of the weekend that led to this porridgey fiasco…..
Michelin Tired
On Friday night as a result of my very generous boss we went for a meal at the very splendid Bibendum Restaurant in London. I met up with the hugely charismatic Matthew Jukes who is a very well respected international wine expert and someone I hadn’t seen for 15 years ( we met on the set of the gameshow Friends Like These when we had to become wine experts for a game) …( we won the gameshow by the way! ) .
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| Matthew Jukes and Lee-Stuart Evans at Bibendum Restaurant |
I lounged amongst the creme of London sipping Chablis and surrounded by beautiful stained glass windows and exquisite michelin star food whilst defending my wine glass from top ups because I was ‘ doing a bit of a run the next morning’ . I stayed strictly within my pre race rules for ‘carb loading’ … somewhere between one and eleven glasses of wine. I’ve yet to fine tune this rule further.
Sir Ranulph Fiennes (simply ‘Ran’ to his friends) is simply inspiring. He is very shy , humble and with a hilariously dry sense of humour that I enjoyed. His stories from the SAS, crossing the Antarctic and Climbing Everest were incredible. Its easy to understand why he is known as the worlds greatest living explorer. We got talking about the toughest foot race on earth the Marathon des Sables through the Sahara that he did this year and I am running next year and I happened to mention I was running 100 miles the next day. No greater compliment has ever been bestowed upon me than for a man that cut his own frostbitten fingers off ‘to save hassle’ telling me my weekend plan was foolhardy. This was high praise indeed from the king of crazy adventures.
Even though the evening got late and I knew I had a big day ahead of me I was reluctant to leave , and after a long car journey back to my home in the Surrey hills , and a brief diversion to ‘rescue’ a drunk man walking along the country lanes near my house I got in to bed at a nice respectable sensible early 2am.
That Village Hall Checky In Pre Race Nerves Bit
I was well prepared for this running event. Wisely I had ‘scouted out’ two previous Centurion 100 mile events to make sure I got it right when I did it properly. Centurion has four 100 mile events per year so I went on the Thames Path 76 and North Downs Way 84 to build my pain tolerance earlier in the year. After each event I made a list of the things I had done wrong , and made sure I tackled them for the next race as a large number of entrants had gone on to the 100 mile mark and a shiny belt buckle, Some of them even without crying or stress fracturing their legs.
All runners are different , and I am more different than most , so although we all have our peculiar quirks we also share some common goals with ultra long distance running and so share common race kit. Almost all of us have facial hair to protect against the hours and hours spent outside. We all have a weird light blue sports bra we wear on the outside that we stuff with 500ml bottles. Weirdly this Scott Jurek Bra does not come with matching pants. Most noticeable of all is a level of camaraderie and common community that I haven’t experienced in any other sports or pursuits that I do . These are people that will stop mid race to help other runners, hold open gates for people they are ‘competing’ against and do the best they can to help all runners finish even to their own personal detriment. I’ve seen some truly inspiring posts on the FB community page for Centurion, one of which from a Guy called Mark with cancer that really stuck with me .
I met up with ‘Withyoueverystep’ David Harvey at the start. A long running (sorry) friend of mine and part of the 4 stone club of weight loss former fatties. Dave plays a clever psychological game, with a multi day pre game that involves telling you how out of fitness he is , how tired , unwell etc etc . He then goes on every time to set a new personal best and on this occasion he did just that. What was great about the four stage ‘out and back’ element of this particular race was that it meant I got to see the leaders in action and pass Dave like a ship in the night shouting a confused but elated hello and update on our progress as we passed.
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| Lee-Stuart Evans at the start of the Centurion Autumn 100 |
After a friendly pre race mega phone bollocking from James (who designed these races and went on to win this year …funny that ) we ambled off past a church and into a weekend of running. Sadly I didn’t get the memo about wearing red and looked out of place in my technical high visibility black. At least my running water bra matched everyone elses.
And we were OFF !
Easy Marathon number one for the Day
Leg 1 of the race was a simple flat 12.5 mile burn along the Thames path to ‘some place in a field’ and back again. We set off at the crack of 10am and I felt like I was running the best race of my life. Everyone that runs Ultras talks about pacing yourself and not running too fast in the first sections, and whilst this is true I’m beginning to believe that actually for me very slow is bad because time on your feet and not distance seem to dictate my running bodily shut downs. I set a new personal best marathon time on that stretch despite it being only a quarter of the whole race and needing to pace myself. I am not a quick runner. I am a slow cruising long distance shuffler. My personal best brought me in near the back of the pack but it didn’t matter. Leg 1 was over and done with and I was back at the Goring central checkpoint in a blink, a quick change of clothing ( I get very sweaty and wet ) and I was back out for the more challenging Leg 2. I’ve recently had an implanted lens in one of my eyes and have to wear protective goggles when out doing sport while recuperating, so I looked particularly weird , and probably worried a few runners about the levels of rainfall predicted out on the course.
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| Lee-Stuart Evans running the Centurion 2015 Autumn 100 Ultra |
I may or may not also have seen one runner running in a bear onsie but my eyesight is still setlling down post surgery.
Leg 2 was more …’challenging’. Dave and I had cleverly scouted out leg 2 and 3 a few weeks earlier at night to simulate the conditions we would run it on. As the miles wear on in an Ultra I suffer from an ailment I call ‘Run Stupid Syndrome’ I lose 10 IQ points for every 10 miles run. Add darkness and I can forget what day my birthday is. This affliction takes 48 hours to disperse too and I read of one runner putting cat food in the washing machine detergent tray post race this year. Text Book RSS.
By scouting the route in advance we knew what to expect from terrain, the right kit for the job (torches , trekking poles for steep ascents, different shoes with more grip if muddy) . Slightly slower but bang on my planned pace I ran the 6 miles on the other side of the Thames path on the Ridgeway National trail before jinking 6 miles inland to a ‘ place in a field’ where we turned round and came back. As I started a very tree root scattered descent the light faded as it had got to sunset and I switched my head torch on to allow me to see more as I fell over…which I did…right on my left knee and for 5 minutes I thought I might be out of the race while I used swearing and hobbling to nurse myself back to full health. Now would have been the perfect time to put a knee support on just in case ….but I gave it to another runner at the NDW100 earlier this year !
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| Lee-Stuart Evans running the Centurion Autumn 100 Ultra |
EHRMERGERDCHILLI
Back I got again to the Goring Village hall. One of the things I’m good at is eating……. Really Good …….I’m very very good at eating then running immediately. I can eat huge cooked breakfasts and then run a marathon, I once horrified a load of runners when I ate a MASSIVE cooked breakfast before running the Bournemouth marathon 45 mins later. There were appalled gasps from fruit juice drinking runners while I slurped tea and munched fried bread. Hey ..whatever works for you works for . For every vegan ultra runner there is an equal and opposite Anti-Vegan keeping the universe in balance.
I make notes on what I do wrong on a run when I drop out of a race. For the Centurion events I could have written a small novel. One message was clear. I want hot food when I want it not when Centurion say I can have it. Centurion do an INCREDIBLE job at aid stations with a bewildering display of brilliant food for all diet types , but after 50 to 60 miles I need something hot and substantial to perk me up and a sausage roll or jelly babies no longer appeals. This time I brought along high calorie freeze dried expedition packs of food that you simply pour hot water in the sachet and BOOM 5 mins later you’ve got a meal to eat on the go . This was a great test bed for these meals as I am planning for them to form the basis of most of my food on the Marathon des Sables.
Exposing My Lubricated Self in Public
I also got changed….and I mean fully changed ….. and I didn’t care . Too busy in my mind with things I needed to do , swap rechargeable batteries for head torch , talc body , change clothes , change jacket for cold section of run etc etc and as the community seemed so familiar I changed in a rather non discreet way at the back of the hall. I warned the two guys nearest me what was about to happen and shortly after one asked me what my trick was to zero blisters after 50 miles. I looked him in the eye mid legging change and said ‘ regular changes of socks every 25 miles and plenty of silicon lube’ I explained it was cheaper on lovehoney.com than the ultra running store but by then it had become clear that he and I were no longer friends.
Leg 3 is an MC Escher painting nightmare on The Ridgeway National Trail, and I started it scoffing hot chilli from my sachet as I power walked out of Goring. I felt smug and happy with my hot food and it made an enormous difference to how I felt. As we left the roads the terrain actually feels more like the South Downs Way and by a clever quirk of Run Stupid Syndrome I was convinced it was uphill there AND back with endless rolling hills and all the best Berkshire dogging spots ruined by two enthusiastic Aid Stations for the evening ‘somewhere in a field’ . The trail was gently lit by little swaying twinkly lights of runners stretching out as far as I could see. They were all ahead of me.
It would also seem that this seasons must have accessory was a pace setter from 50 miles which everyone seemed to have. My pace setter David Harvey was motivating me well by staying a fraction over 3 hours ahead of me to spur me on. As we chatted the one time we passed each other on that leg he offered me encouragement and I called him a ginger bastard .
Dark Times
Leg 4 brought me back on the Thames path that follows the thames …UPHILL…which defies gravity and makes no sense at all. At 75 miles and at the Goring Checkpoint again I was on target for a sub 24hr if I wanted it. I got to Goring at about 3.30 am. Those that complete the event in under 24 hours get an extra special 100 miles one day belt buckle. At this stage in the race some people lose time due to injuries, exhaustion etc but I was OK. If I’m honest I set out to finish this race, I’d had an amazing run and was hugely ahead of time. …I just didn’t want the sub 24 hr buckle enough so I decided to ‘enjoy’ the last 25 miles at a more sedate pace with a guaranteed finish because I lack moral fibre, rather than push hard and maybe explode like I had in the last two Centurion events.
Basically I’m a lazy embarrassment of a runner.
All runners will tell you about their epic running music lists …high octane rock music ….high beat dance music to get you going …anything to keep those feet moving and make you feel EPIC so I plugged in my headphones and settled into some seriously rocking Radio 4 podcasts of the Infinite Monkey Cage popular science programme, making sure the volume wasn’t so loud it might cause any hearing damage, and kept myself moving at a 3 mph+ constant pace using my trekking poles to take some weight off my thighs and propel me that little bit faster.
By 6am things were bad. In less than 2 hours the reduced pace had taken me from a possible 24hr finihsh to possibly not making the 28 hour cut off. This was really really bad. The combination of lack of sleep , fatigue and RSS (Run Stupid Syndrome) etc was seriously messing with my mind and I entered an emotional mess I couldn’t seem to get out of . My maths was telling me I risked missing the final cut off and would need to increase my pace and start running again, except my legs were fried , my knees hurt , feet hurt and running felt terrible. I exchanged messages with friends on Whatsapp and with slow gentle encouragement and a fair bit of crying when no one was looking I got running again to increase my pace and get me back on track. It was all about getting to Reading and the last turnaround before 9am so I was still in for a chance of getting across the line before the 2pm cutoff.
The miles literally didn’t fly by.
I didn’t feel epic
I did some of the scrappiest most undignified forward movement I’ve ever done.
I didn’t care how I looked .
I had a cry
Reading ….9am
Reading 9am
head down
Reading 9am
Little Sobs
Porridgeageddon
……and so we are back to where this blog started…. I got to the amazing Reading Aid station at about 8.35am with a super speedy turnaround and another hot freeze dried meal of porridge to eat on the move once I left. The sun was up , I felt better and a nice cup of tea and huge smiles from the second to last aid station brought me back from the dead. The porridge in my sachet was overfilled with water and sloppy and being ultra clever I had bought a super light weight spoon online with a short handle and small head to it. Trying to get my hand deep inside the satchet to get small globs of porridge was a total disaster while walking , it was like watching someone bail out the titanic with an egg cup. My hand got covered , then my face when I wiped sweat from my eyebrows, then it fell on my shoes, my legs . This was my finest hour. I looked like Id been sick on myself.
I didn’t care .
As the hours rolled on I slowly worked my way back along the Thames Path. I took it one mile at a time closely monitoring my speed with my required pace to finish on time.
Finish
I went straight through the final checkpoint at 95.5 miles without grabbing food or water….I just didn’t want to waste time and I was aware of the hilly section between there and the finish and that it would sap my speed even more, but in the light of day and with the end in sight the hilly section wasn’t that bad.
As I finally got to Goring I was at a slow amble pace , It was in the bag , I had 40 mins spare, I got overtaken by a few ‘runners’ but frankly didn’t care. This was my personal journey to complete, not a battle for ranking position. I exchanged some messages of support and congratulations on my phone with a good friend abroad .
It was all really relaxing.
I ambled across the finish line. Hands in pockets. Calm.
I had just ‘graduated’ to a slightly higher plane of running idiot and it felt special to be in such an elite club. I’d started at the front and finished at the back. I had got my moneys worth .
Dave my pace setter and I crossed the line exactly together 7 hrs 40 mins apart which was amazing with Dave coming an incredible 34th with a sub 20 hour time and me with a mention in dispatches and ranking 151st.
25% of entrants did not finish .
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| Lee-Stuart Evans with 100 Mile Finisher |
James Elson was right, it was EXACTLY 100 miles .
I have a large number of people to thank including all my friends who supported me on my two ‘scouting missions’ earlier in the year, all the volunteers , organisers, marshals and people at the aid stations , the superb camerman Stuart March, my pace setter David Harvey and my wife who isn’t sure I own any clothes other than compression wear these days.
I will also be volunteering next year to give something back to the amazing Centurion Community .
I now move my attention to The Marathon des Sables in 2016 where I will be racing. Ill be wiser, smarter and fitter than I’ve ever been thanks to the Centurion community .
And I’ll be using a spoon with a long handle in the desert.
oh ….and the next evening I set the 4 mile run for my local drinking club the Guildford Hash House Harries and was presented with a shiny bib depicting the number of times I thought about giving up and didn’t at the weekend.
On On !
Little Pecker
Very entertaining blog. I must have crossed paths with you several times and not known it, but I was in camo neon yellow and next to the singing Jayden, so indistinguishable from the shadows.