I walked round the corner in an alleyway in a quiet part of London and there it was…

It was like hashing but with the average age halved, After the searing heat of my desert crossing and the freezing rain of Race to the King I was like Bilbo Baggins returning home to the Shire.

Merriment and Beer and runners everywhere. All queuing in a total disorganised mess.

This was it .

This was MY OWN PERSONAL OLYMPICS

We had arrived at the Great British Beerathon in London.  5 one mile laps interspersed with ‘slobsticles’ of pints and snacks.

Pre Race Carb loading at Great British Beerathon 2016

After a very efficient registration process that was done in seconds Poola Radcliffe Jenny Lord  and I started with pre race ‘carb loading’.  This was to steady our nerves. At the time I proclaimed that the pre race beer was a superb idea, later in the day I wasn’t so sure.

And then we were off !

Imagine the Very Hungry Caterpillar had been written by Hunter S Thompson on fast forward during  a stag do. You run your first hectic lap , you feel epic and then its into the first slobsticle and it all goes to glorious ratshit in seconds……

SAMOSA and Lager

Lager and Samosa slobsticle at the Great British Beerathon 2016

and a lap

Great British Beerathon 2016

Bitter and PORK PIE

Great British Beerathon 2016

and a lap

Great British Beerathon 2016

Cider and PASTY

and a lap

Guinness and CAKE

and a lap

I ran a lap with Jody from the bad boy podcast who is much taller than he sounds, I was proud to learn he was one lap ahead of me due to his 8 month aggressive taper he was super fit and ready for the race.  Confusingly he was dressed as David Hellard. I pitched the idea of bringing the Idiotarod to the UK as a ‘Marathon des Cartes’ while  he ran faster to escape me.

A lot of people seemed to be called Pete.

I was very pleased to find out that the Scott Jurek UD race vest PERFECTLY holds a Pint in the bottle holder making hands free chomping much easier . Next year I would fit the raidlight desert straws for added speed and maybe poles for the tougher final lap.

 I kept the wet burps down like a pro and whilst Jenny Lord adopted the Do Badder ‘aggressive cornering’ and ‘outright cheating’ I stayed true to the rules and ran the whole course . …well …walked some of it.

………..and then in the distance like a Smiling Bubble Wrap Jesus with his outstretched hands compelling us to the light was the ‘organiser’ David Hellard. The last time I’d seen him at the MdS I was feeling nauseous and hot and staggering all over the place and this time was no different.

Fastest brit MdS 2016 and ‘exactly average’ brit MdS 2016 at Great British Beerathon 2016

 Jenny ‘David Seaman’ and I  were all awarded silver for coming basically last .

I got a down down for being me.

 Not since accidentally coming second on a 66.6 running mile race have I felt so proud of such shocking underachievement. Whilst the winner did a sub 30 min time I had scraped  into the top 200 which is impressive given there were 150 race entries.

184 places from winning at the Great British Beerathon 2016

 I had graduated at Do Badder school.  I was home . I had finally found ‘ my people’. I partied back on the mother ship.

I don’t remember a lot after that except a Mcdonalds milkshake on the way home.

useful links and resources for those interested in training for the Beerathon.

www.badboyrunningpodcast.com
www.mcdonalds.co.uk
www.twitter.com/mikebreakfast
www.dryrobe.com
www.patobanton.com